Phrases that make me punch myself in the face.

Have you ever heard someone regurgitate generic sayings based off of proverbs or stupid greeting cards they read in the dollar store? Did you think to yourself "Where is the nearest hammer so I can slam it into my skull"? Of course, we all have. That's why I have taken the liberty of listing some of these phrases that make us want to jump off a cliff and push the quoter off with us.

"It takes one to know one"

Have you ever called someone a slut only to have them spit back at you "It takes one to know one"? Basically what the slut is saying is " Yes, I sleep with anyone and everyone including your boyfriend and that's ok because your a slut too". Ok-- great come back you idiot, you've debunked nothing and what I stated stands. Your comeback was basically pointless and I want you to now jump off a cliff for wasting my time.

"Sorry, but.." (also known as "No offense, but")

Girls are usually the ones to use this phrase when they think that are super witty and you are not smart enough to understand their under-handed remark. For example " I'm sorry, but you have no idea what your talking about because your stupid and worthless." This is a phrase that is usually used to announce bad news to old friends " Sorry to inform you buddy but everyone has voted and well, your an idiot." When its being said its masked with the intent of eloquence yet it is used as a dull hammer into your skull because they think your down syndrome. This is overall obnoxious.

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen"

Ya, either that or being raped in the back of a shady white van waiting to happen.

"May or may not be"

Its like hearing finger nails on a chalk board when someone says "That may or may not be the case." Ok--thank you for stating the obvious. Is there some other third party waiting in the shadows? This is probably the worst kind of person to talk to because they have absolutely no opinion of their own. They are trying so hard to be open-minded that they have no mind at all.

"Well, that's just your opinion"

This one makes me enraged to even think about. Anytime you disagree with an idiot on their horrible taste in music/movies/teams/politics they say "Well, that's just your opinion". Yes-- of course that's my opinion, that's why I just said it. They feel like they have to remind you that your opinions only represent you because they are afraid that your opinion is going to create a monopoly on opinions thus, putting their opinion in jeopardy.

"Some of the best things in life are free"

Right...some of the worst things in life are free too. Lets raise the roof for cancer cause its free.

" The grass is always greener on the other side."

If the grass is greener on the other side you wont be seeing that guy with the greener grass wanting to swap sides right? Ok, in layman's terms they are trying to say that everything looks better when you don't have it. I'm sure that's true cause you know how everyday you see those millionaires crying because they don't live in a trailer park. Lets face it: sometimes no one wants what you have and there is always a bottom where the grass is dead.

Several phrases were excluded from this to ensure I dont have a heart attack.