DC Photography, Reno, NV: Dragonfly Kisses

This was an amazing photoshoot that was so much fun! A local company called DragonFly Kisses hand makes TuTu's for all occassions including holidays, birthdays and basically anything you can think of. The designer and owner of the company hired me to do a promotional shoot for her website. These girls were so cute and made my job way to easy :)

DC Photography, Reno, NV: The Woods

DC Photography

Just decided to randomly start a photography business...grabbed a couple of models, and here we are. Let me know what you guys think!

Check out our Facebook fan page : http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/DC-Photography/183377651714388

I hope everyone that likes plain cheese pizza dies.

I hate everyone that likes plain cheese pizzas. Ohhh...don't like toppings on your pizza, sissy boy? You don't want onions on your pizza because you don't like the way they taste? If I have kids, they will NEVER eat plain cheese pizzas. Ever. My kids arent going to grow up thinking they can pick and choose what they eat and be happy like all these other wuss kids.

A good example of this is the movie "Home Alone". I hate Macaulay Culkin (the little jerk in the movie that plays Kevin). During the first part of the movie, his generous parents are ordering pizza and ask him what he wants on his order. He orders a cheese-only pizza. What kind of asshole orders a cheese-only pizza? Who does he think he is? Mr. Big Shot wants a cheese-only pizza.....pardon me your majesty, but is there anything else you would like? A hotdog without ketchup or some skim milk perhaps? How about nothing you spoiled little brat? Does nothing sound good enough for you? Or are you going to complain about that too? That pail little shit. Laughing while he eats his cheese-only pizza. Laughing. Happy. Warm, but no. He has to complain about having his pizza eaten by some other idiot.

Left with the options to act like a normal person and eat pizza with toppings or cry/bitch about his stupid cheese-only pizza being eaten, he chooses the latter and gets sent to the attic like the spoiled little idiot he is. For me, the attic is even too generous. I might throw his out in the snow and make his suffer hypothermia until he grew a backbone. He may even have to pay a fee and get his legs amputated to cross the bridge of hypothermia, guarded by my pal Jack Frost. Give him hell Frosty. Give him hell.

Courtney Hill featured in Metro Magazine as an " It Girl"!

I was featured in Metro Magazine as an "It Girl" for women in Hollywood. I was interviewed on dating history and advice to give young girls looking to find a special someone. The best advice I can give anyone about dating is to look at someone for what they really are, not what you want them to be or what they say they are. So many times we will get caught up in a fantasy of the relationship we want and try and mold that person to fit the fantasy. Look at that persons actions; NOT their words. This is the most common mistake that young women make when it comes to dating. I sincerely believe that there is not that "perfect person" waiting for you somewhere out in the world...but I do believe in not cutting yourself short. Wait for a partner that respects you for your attributes and flaws. Help lift each other up in your quality of life whether it be physically, emotionally or spiritually.

Courtney Hill and Georgio Gucci

Spent last week in New York City to go to a Gucci event for charity. It was an amazing experience and I am so thankful to be able to be apart of something so extrodinary. This is a picture of Georgio Gucci and I walking down the red carpet at the Gucci event at the Taj Pierre in Manhattan New York. The theme of the event was Marie Antoinette which explains my sweet hair and makeup :) This picture doesnt show my dress which was super cool because a seamstress from Russia sewed me into it the day of the event..there was no way I was getting out of that thing unless I wanted to cut it off. Have you ever been sewed into an outfit? Pretty insane, I must say.

BodyByVi Spokes Model Search!

My company is on a nationwide search for new BodyByVi spokes models for our 2011 calander! We are searching for women between the ages of 18+ that have previous modeling experience and are looking to become a spokes model for a internationally recognized health product company! If you or anyone you know are interested in this amazing opportunity please send all contact info and a headshot to chillbodybyvi@gmail.com

Phrases that make me punch myself in the face.

Have you ever heard someone regurgitate generic sayings based off of proverbs or stupid greeting cards they read in the dollar store? Did you think to yourself "Where is the nearest hammer so I can slam it into my skull"? Of course, we all have. That's why I have taken the liberty of listing some of these phrases that make us want to jump off a cliff and push the quoter off with us.

"It takes one to know one"

Have you ever called someone a slut only to have them spit back at you "It takes one to know one"? Basically what the slut is saying is " Yes, I sleep with anyone and everyone including your boyfriend and that's ok because your a slut too". Ok-- great come back you idiot, you've debunked nothing and what I stated stands. Your comeback was basically pointless and I want you to now jump off a cliff for wasting my time.

"Sorry, but.." (also known as "No offense, but")

Girls are usually the ones to use this phrase when they think that are super witty and you are not smart enough to understand their under-handed remark. For example " I'm sorry, but you have no idea what your talking about because your stupid and worthless." This is a phrase that is usually used to announce bad news to old friends " Sorry to inform you buddy but everyone has voted and well, your an idiot." When its being said its masked with the intent of eloquence yet it is used as a dull hammer into your skull because they think your down syndrome. This is overall obnoxious.

"Strangers are just friends waiting to happen"

Ya, either that or being raped in the back of a shady white van waiting to happen.

"May or may not be"

Its like hearing finger nails on a chalk board when someone says "That may or may not be the case." Ok--thank you for stating the obvious. Is there some other third party waiting in the shadows? This is probably the worst kind of person to talk to because they have absolutely no opinion of their own. They are trying so hard to be open-minded that they have no mind at all.

"Well, that's just your opinion"

This one makes me enraged to even think about. Anytime you disagree with an idiot on their horrible taste in music/movies/teams/politics they say "Well, that's just your opinion". Yes-- of course that's my opinion, that's why I just said it. They feel like they have to remind you that your opinions only represent you because they are afraid that your opinion is going to create a monopoly on opinions thus, putting their opinion in jeopardy.

"Some of the best things in life are free"

Right...some of the worst things in life are free too. Lets raise the roof for cancer cause its free.

" The grass is always greener on the other side."

If the grass is greener on the other side you wont be seeing that guy with the greener grass wanting to swap sides right? Ok, in layman's terms they are trying to say that everything looks better when you don't have it. I'm sure that's true cause you know how everyday you see those millionaires crying because they don't live in a trailer park. Lets face it: sometimes no one wants what you have and there is always a bottom where the grass is dead.

Several phrases were excluded from this to ensure I dont have a heart attack.

Help Promote my Courtney Hill Facebook Fan page!

So if you think my blog is pretty legit, help me spread the knowledge and educate people with my mindless sarcasm and meaningless ridicule. I do it just because I can and you read it because you love it.

Help me out by promoting my Facebook fan page so we can spread the word. Just copy and paste this link into your status on Facebook or Twitter and I will keep the posts coming fresh.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Courtney-Hill/114520768592123?ref=sgm

E! Entertainments "Pretty Wild" looks wildly horrible

Has anyone actually sat down and watch this show on E!? If you have please dont answer truthfully because I don't want to steal your dignity from you. If you havent, let me clue you in as to what the world has come to; Its a completely unscripted show about these pathetic, slightly cute (only because their young) sisters who have 2 claims to fame. 1. Their mom was a nameless model in the 80's 2. The middle sister Alexis was apart of the notortious "Bling Ring" and plead guilty on all accounts of robbing famous celebrities homes which included Orlando Bloom, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Rachel Bilson, Megan Fox and many more.

So let me get this straight...If I steal over a million dollars worth of goods from famous people then Im going to be offered my very own show on E! entertainment? If I steal Paris Hilton's bra and Rachel Bilson's TV then I can show off my wild skills on primetime TV?

Am I just out of the loop or does this show "Pretty Wild" seems wildly pointless, wildly boring and wildly shitty? I say the answer to that wildly obvious question is...yes.

Its pretty sad when E! is resorting to a play on words for a show title that refers to being a "Wild Robber". I just don't know if I should cry or laugh that E! didnt have any better show ideas. I can honestly say that after watching the promo for this show I rather have a Jersey Shore marathon then watch a full episode of this crap.

In observation of this wildly shitty show I realized that I was overcome with disappointment when I realized that Chealsea Handler was one of the executive producers for this show. Its only obvious to me that it was a lazy attempt to get more ratings right before her show airs.

Overall, it seems like a sad attempt on E!'s part to capture the attention of the ever-elusive TV veiwer that want to mindlessly watch the lifes of spoiled, out-of-control teenagers that will end up landing their next gig on Dr. Drew's Celebrity rehad...if their lucky.

Check it out for yourself. This episode is entitled "Breast wishes". Enjoy.

I hate Mimes

Why I hate Mimes and you should to:

1. They look ridiculous
2. They don't move unless you give them money
3. They don't talk
4. They spend their time pulling ropes
5. They wear Berets
6. Their clowns that didnt make the cut
7. They cause me to have nausea and vomit

I was young when I had my first encounter with a Mime. The beast was stuck in an imaginary box on a corner in San Francisco. As I approached the street corner, my parents immediately started to plan a dodge tactic, but it was too late. The Mime popped out of his pretend stupid box and started prancing toward me. I locked eyes with the Mime not knowing what to expect. All of a sudden he started pulling a rope ( invisible of course) like he was trying to reel me in. I looked up at my mom hoping she would know what to do. She looked as me and rolled her eyes. My mom handed me a quater. Instinctively, I threw the quater at the Mimes forehead as hard as I could and turned to run. No. Not enough. The Mime was already on the other side of me pretending to lift Imaginary logs that a pretend lumberjack must have just thrown down. I was scared as hell. I looked at my dad for sanctuary, but he did not meet my gaze. What was I going to do? The Mime's stupid black and white face was bobbing in front of me and I couldnt recognize what he was doing this time. I cleared my foggy tear filled eyes and realized he was putting ME in his imaginary box. I couldnt get out. The walls were closing in. I couldnt breath. All of a sudden, I slapped the Mime in his stupid pasty face.

True story.

Ninja's are amazing.

ULTIMATE POWER

FACTS ABOUT NINJA'S:

1. Ninja's are mammals

2. Ninjas fight ALL the time

3. Ninja's flip out and kill people...its cool.

Ninja's offical gear

NINJA TESTIMONIAL

" Ninja's have ulimate power and are super awesome. Ninja's can kill anyone they want anytime they want. Basically Ninja's go around cutting off people's heads just because they want to. Ninja's are so crazy that they flip out 24/7. My friend saw a full blown Ninja drop kick a kid because he sneezed, true story."- Some kid

"Ninja's are soooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it in my heart. Ninja's are totally amazing and thats a fact. Ninja's are smooth, cool, sleak, strong, powerful and awesome. I can't wait to start Yoga next year. I love Ninja's with all my body."- Some other kid

THATS WHAT I CALL ULTIMATE POWER.

Q & A:

Q. Why is everyone so obsessed with Ninja's?

A. Ninja's are the ultimate paradox. On one hand they don't give a crap, on the other they are super sneaky.

Q. I heard that Ninja's are always mean, whats their problem?

A. Whoever told you that is a liar. Remember, Ninja's are MAMMALS, they can kill and be totally cool.

Q. How do Ninja's spend their free time?

A. Basically they spend all their free time flying...but sometimes they like to stab people.

I hope you guys realize how totally amazing Ninja's are. If you didnt before, you suck.

Best Worst Movie...possibly ever.

Where do I even begin? Do I begin with the fact that this movie has absolutely no plot or the fact that everyone looks like they went to Walmart and bought a troll halloween costume while tripping on LSD?

Ok lets start with this. Is the main kid really a kid or a midget? I can't figure it out. The movie would actually be badass if he was a midget...but I feel thats too much to ask for.

On to the next subject at hand... This movie was made in 2001, yet everyone looks like they came straight from the welfare line in 1983. Was the budget so bad that the wardrobe department couldnt even hit up a Salvation Army and resorted to their mom's clothes in the garage?

Why do they insist on showing us their LAME graphics time and time again saying "Troll 2". Do they think we have amnesia? Oh I know, their target audience is 92 yrs old with Alzheimer's. They just have to point out more then once that they have a lame ass name for their movie.

Whats up with the dude that looks like he was plucked straight out of the show Saved by the Bell and says "And remember..." AND REMEMBER WHAT? That literally had no point. You know that guy was one of the producer's kids that they just slapped into a scene like..."Oh no one will notice, don't worry. Just have him wear these bottle glasses". His second line is "There eating her...and they are going to eat me!" ummmm.ok. I can't even get into his amazing acting abilities. Please rewatch that part a couple times. Baffling.

Trolls running through the forest and the David Hasselhoff wannabe= my favorite

My overall conclusion of this movie is that they casted some crackheads from Hemet CA, had them wear their mother's clothes from 1983 and filmed the whole movie on a budget of $5.00 maximum.

I am going to slap my own face for watching this. Thanks Willy.

How to ruin someone's day...

So basically the picture above is showing some awesome hot-ish chick kicking the crap out of that weak guy that looks like he works at Staples. The moral of this story is that the weaks guys day is totally ruined...here are some things that ruin my day for sure.


Things that ruin my day:

1. The show "The Hills"
2. Daylight savings time
3. Paula Abdul
4. Whoopi Goldberg
5. Going into work early
6. Going into work late
7. Going into work at all
8. Stop signs
9. Hippies
10. Old people on the freeway
11. Dr. Phil
12. Cottage cheese
13. Joggers that jog in place when they are waiting at a corner

Now here are some things that brighten up my day:

1. Rolling my eyes when someone asks me a question
2. Pressing the "door close" button in an elevator when someone is running towards it
3. The show "Judge Judy"
4. Forcing someone to take the wrong exit because I wouldnt let them merge on the freeway
5. Not waking up
6. Not going to work
7. Arguing with someone when I am obviously wrong
8. Kicking my neighbors ugly bird houses on my way to the car
9. Making fun of someone for something that I do all the time
10. Littering
11. Seeing someone trip
12. Finding a good parking spot while laughing at those who don't
13. Answering questions with questions

This is just to name a few...I could go on and on but I don't know if you guys could handle my awesomeness. Out.

McKenzie Lyn Badass #1

I have decided to crown people that are amazing as the Badass of the Day. #1 Badass on my blog- McKenzie Lyn. Whats not to like about her? Super successful and beautiful as well! Here is some info about her that is way awesome-

McKenzie originally wanted to be an FBI Agent but decided to become a successful journalist instead! McKenzie has interviewed everyone from Broadway to TV, from Politicians to Youtube. She has interviewed Ofreh from Legally Blonde the Musical and Crystal Chapell from Days of our Lives. She has even interviewed Heather McDonald from Chelsea lately!

McKenzie is a well-rounded journalist that has experience in Broadcast,TV and Print. She wants to get into the entertainment industry or a good old-fashioned newspaper job.

McKenzie's all time favorite thing is some Courtney Hill ( @chill8815) on Twitter ;)

If you want to hit Mckenzie up because she is completely amazing... then contact her on Twitter @McKenzieLyn

:)

PEDO-SMILES

We all know those guys...the ones that give you a freaky feeling when they are lingering near you in the grocery store. You know that guy that is hanging around the park with that shit-eating grin on his face while he eats an ice cream cone. They send off this vibe that makes you want to crap your pants. While you feel the need to vomit and your starring at the creeper you think "wow- I KNOW that guy's name is Jester the Molestor".

Some people may say there is no real way to spot a pedophile.WRONG. All of these creeper's have one thing in common. PEDO-SMILE'S.

Whats a PEDO-SMILE you ask? Let me give you some prime examples from top notch Pedophiles. These guys were not playing around.

PEDO-SMILE #1- Elby Jesse Hars

This creeper not only has a most legit pedo-smile I have ever seen, but he is taking topless picture of himself as well? Not needed buddy, we can already tell you are a hardcore molester by looking at your pedo-smile.

PEDO-SMILE #2- Edward Claire Reisch

This is obviously a dead give away right? If you didnt think so, Im worried for you.

PEDO-SMILE #3-Senorita Walker (Sweestest name...possibly ever)

This chick DEFINETLY has a Pedophile essence about her and she also paid kids $5,000 bucks to get laid... I think that qualifies her for the top Pedo award in my book.

Last but not least PEDO-SMILE #4- Debra Lafave

Really Debra? REALLY? You just had to sleep with a 13 year old boy? Most people would say
"I NEVER would have thought Debra Lafave would be a Pedophile, she doesnt look like the typical Molestor".
WRONG.
All you have to do is look past her enormous teeth and focus on her PEDO-SMILE. She has one just like the rest...sad but true. You would have thought a chick this hot wouldnt resort to sleeping with boys that havent hit puberty...but she was sadly born with that PEDO-SMILE. Sorry Deb.



Look guys, this is a lesson to be learned. Spot the PEDO-SMILE right away...and if you cant after this in depth lesson, well then... you can't be helped.

The People of Walmart

http://peopleofwalmart.com/

This is one of the most inspirational sites on the internet. It will literally change your life...for the better or worse, only time will tell.

I have come to realize that common sense is not so common and normal people are scarce to find. This website is proof that people really do leave their house with poop stained shorts and bend over while looking at cat food. This website is proof that people super glue plastic eggs and stuffed animals to themselves and ask little children for hugs. This website is proof that some people should never leave their house.Ever.

I have shown above one of the tasty treats I speak of. Enjoy.

Look its the Ringling Brothers-Oh no its Celebrities with Red Lipstick.

I dont understand where people get the impression that CRAZY red lipstick looks good. Honestly you look like you belong in the circus when its this red. TONE IT DOWN PEOPLE. We know that you are Celebrities and can do whatever you want...including naming your children Apple, Rumor and Tiger. You can ruin their lifes with their names but please dont ruin my mind by making me look at your crazy red lipstick. You look crazed and hungry. Goodbye.

Facebook Status

Ok- I want to know the hidden meaning behind everyone's Facebook status. Why do you feel the need to have an emotional breakdown through your status update and then that cherry is posted on my homepage? I honestly don't want to know or care if you feel you have found a philosophical way via song lyrics to tell your ex how you feel about him finding someone way hotter then you or that you need to be seriously medicated.

Here's examples:

" I can't find the need to go on without you."
Suicide watch.

" Imma try and add ur name to my hall or fame."
Whore.

" I keep forgetting to forget you."
A.D.D.

" I have become comfortably numb."
Again with the suicide watch...

"Dropped a deux wild."
Over share.

"Lick it all night."
Desperate.

This is an amazing creation.

Saturday Night Live - Chronicles of Narnia (Lazy Sunday) - Video - NBC.com